Escaping The Success Trap: Align to Your Core Values

“You have it all… or so it seems.”

You are accomplished, ambitious, and likely seen as a role model. You’ve pursued and attained what many would define as success—a flourishing career, financial security, and a well-curated life. Yet, despite these external achievements, something feels off. You may feel an underlying sense of dissatisfaction or a lack of fulfillment. The question arises: Why, after achieving so much, do I still feel as though something is missing?

This discontent is not uncommon among modern women. Many of us, particularly those navigating the pressures of career, relationships, and societal expectations, feel similarly. As I share in my About section, my mission is to help individuals realign their lives with their values. Research increasingly reveals that traditional markers of success—such as wealth, status, and external validation—often fail to bring long-term well-being or fulfillment. Rather, living in alignment with one’s core values is a much more reliable predictor of deep, lasting satisfaction (Ryan & Deci, 2000; Vansteenkiste et al., 2006).

This article explores the disconnect between traditional success and true fulfilment, delving into why realigning with core values—intrinsic beliefs and motivations—holds the key to authentic, long-term well-being.

What Are Core Values?

Core values represent the deeply held principles that shape how we make decisions and guide our behavior. These values are not the same as societal measures of success, which tend to be driven by external rewards like money, fame, or approval from others (Ryan & Deci, 2000). Instead, core values are intrinsic motivators—such as personal growth, creativity, connection, and autonomy—that provide a sense of purpose and authenticity (Sheldon & Kasser, 1998).

The distinction between intrinsic and extrinsic goals is crucial when it comes to understanding well-being. Research shows that individuals who focus on intrinsic goals, such as personal development or meaningful relationships, experience much higher levels of life satisfaction compared to those who prioritize extrinsic goals, like wealth or social recognition (Vansteenkiste et al., 2006). For instance, a meta-analysis of self-determination theory studies reveals that people who prioritize intrinsic values report a 20% increase in long-term well-being (PLOS One Study).

The Science of Misalignment

When individuals prioritize external goals at the expense of their intrinsic values, they experience value incongruence. This is a state in which there is a misalignment between one’s actions and core beliefs. As a result, this misalignment can lead to several negative psychological outcomes, including burnout, depression, and identity confusion (Schwartz, 2012). In fact, research in occupational psychology shows that people who experience value incongruence at work are more likely to suffer from emotional exhaustion and dissatisfaction. Over time, this often leads to burnout (Maslach, Schaufeli, & Leiter, 2001).

Moreover, a longitudinal study published in Frontiers in Psychology found that people whose actions are misaligned with their values are 25-30% more likely to experience burnout and lower life satisfaction (Frontiers Study). This gap between who we are and the roles we play can erode our sense of identity. Consequently, this leads to “self-discrepancy,” where the difference between our ideal self and our actual behavior becomes distressing (Higgins, 1987).

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, a globally celebrated author and thinker, provides a clear example of overcoming value incongruence. Adichie faced considerable pressure to conform to societal expectations regarding gender, career, and identity. However, by embracing her authentic self and expressing her true voice, she flourished personally and professionally. Her ability to reject external pressures and realign with her core values allowed her to become one of the leading voices of her generation (Chimamanda Story).

How Core Values Guide Fulfilment

When people live according to their core values, they often experience a deep sense of fulfillment, resilience, and long-term well-being. In contrast, misalignment with these values can lead to dissatisfaction and burnout. This principle is especially evident in career development. Research shows that individuals with protean career orientations—those who prioritize personal values and self-directed goals—report significantly higher job satisfaction and psychological well-being (Hall, 2004; Briscoe & Hall, 2006).

In fact, studies demonstrate that people who align their careers with their core values experience up to 30% higher job satisfaction (Protean Career Study). This alignment provides a greater sense of purpose and direction. Consequently, these individuals are better able to navigate challenges with resilience and adaptability (Wrzesniewski & Dutton, 2001). By aligning with core values, people create a life that feels true to who they are. As a result, they experience “eudaimonic well-being”—a profound sense of flourishing that goes beyond momentary happiness (Ryff & Singer, 2008).

Arianna Huffington, the founder of The Huffington Post and later Thrive Global, serves as a powerful example. At the height of her professional success, Huffington collapsed from exhaustion, which led her to reassess her values. Realizing the importance of well-being over achievement, she pivoted her career to focus on health, wellness, and helping others find balance. This realignment with her core values has allowed her to build a more meaningful, values-driven business that reflects her commitment to personal well-being (Arianna Huffington Story).

Conclusion

In summary, traditional success may appear fulfilling on the surface. However, when it is pursued at the expense of your core values, it often leads to dissatisfaction, burnout, and a fractured sense of self. By contrast, living in alignment with your intrinsic motivations cultivates a life of authenticity, purpose, and long-term well-being.

Navigating the complexities of modern life requires recognizing that true fulfillment isn’t about meeting societal expectations. Instead, it’s about aligning your actions with what truly matters to you. The journey to rediscover your values and escape the “success trap” is not always easy, but it is deeply rewarding.

If you’re ready to explore more about how to live in alignment with your core values, visit my Home Page to find additional resources and insights.

In the next post, we’ll dive deeper into the real-world consequences of living out of alignment with your values and how to start reclaiming your authentic self.

References

1. PLOS Study on Intrinsic and Extrinsic Values, PLOS One Study on Intrinsic Life Satisfaction.
2. Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2000). Self-determination theory and the facilitation of intrinsic motivation, social development, and well-being. American Psychologist, 55(1), 68.
3. Vansteenkiste, M., et al. (2006). The relation between intrinsic goal orientation, psychological need satisfaction, and well-being. Journal of Educational Psychology, 98(2), 237.
4. Higgins, E. T. (1987). Self-discrepancy: A theory relating self and affect. Psychological Review, 94(3), 319-340.
5. Maslach, C., Schaufeli, W. B., & Leiter, M. P. (2001). Job burnout. Annual Review of Psychology, 52(1), 397-422.
6. Schwartz, S. H. (2012). An overview of the Schwartz theory of basic values. Online Readings in Psychology and Culture, 2(1), 2307-0919.
7. Hall, D. T. (2004). The protean career: A quarter-century journey. Journal of Vocational Behavior, 65(1), 1-13.
8. Ryff, C. D., & Singer, B. (2008). Know thyself and become what you are: A eudaimonic approach to psychological well-being. Journal of Happiness Studies, 9(1), 13-39.
9. Wrzesniewski, A., & Dutton, J. E. (2001). Crafting a job: Revisioning employees as active crafters of their work. Academy of Management Review, 26(2), 179-201.
10. Arianna Huffington’s Career Shift, Thrive Global.